Let Him Go
by Kato Chinatsu
Summary: Staring at the bottom of your glass, hoping one day you'll make a dream last. But dreams come slow and they go so fast. You see her when you close your eyes, maybe one day you'll understand why. Everything you touch surely dies. But you only need the light when it's burning low. Only miss the sun when it starts to snow. Only know you love her when you let her go. (AkaKuro)


_**Kato: **__This idea came up after I heard the song. The title of the song is "Let Her Go". You should listen to M & B song cover version though on YouTube. That was where my inspiration came from. I had to make the title "Let Him Go" because Kuroko is... Well... a male. _

_**Disclaimer: **__Fujimaki Tadatoshi solely owns Kuroko no Basket. The song and the lyrics belong solely to their respective owners._

_**Warnings: Angst ALL THROUGHOUT (not going to give any specific details on that), Akashi being out of character.**_

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**Remove the spaces and parenthesis please. : )**

**This is a mini chat post between Seirin, Kaijo, Shuutoku, Yosen, and Touo.**

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_**Let Him Go**_

_And you let her go_

* * *

If there is something that has been constantly asked by every person that has ever existed in this monochromatic and dull world, that would have to be...

What is love?

Commonly defined with basic knowledge as the basis for it, it is 'a strong romantic feeling for someone'. To those who have not experienced such even just a tingle of that sensation, they highly depend on that definition. On the other hand, to the respective few who have, it weighs more than that six-words explanation.

* * *

_You only need the light when it's burning low,  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow,  
Only know you love her when you let her go._

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missing home.  
Only know you love her when you let her go…_

* * *

Love is such a bitter-sweet sensation that comes at unprecedented moments of one's life with the sole intention of knocking one to crumble on their feet. You could fall in love with someone in such a cliché proper way of slow honey-sweet development, devoid of problems or hindrances, leading to the make-believe world of 'Happy Ever After'. Or, you could fall in love with someone in such a complicated circumstance.

You could fall in love and yet deny that emotion once it is presented, fraught with the fear of stepping out of the four corners of your comfort zone. Falling for someone in that situation hurts the most. It's basic knowledge.

Just as one only needs the light when it's burning low... or miss the sun when it starts to snow... or know the sensation of been high when feeling low... or hate the road when missing home... Sometimes, you will only know you love someone...

... When you let them go.

* * *

_And you let her go_

.

.

.

_Staring at the bottom of your glass  
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last  
But dreams come slow and they go so fast  
You see her when you close your eyes  
Maybe one day you'll understand why  
Everything you touch surely dies_

* * *

The faint sweet fragrance of fully-bloomed cherry blossoms, the crisp yet cool caress of spring's early morning breeze, and the hushed rustling of dew-covered grass underneath his feet seemed so distant on the back of his mind. How long has it been since he last felt a tinge of happiness from nature's motherly caress? Or even that sense of tranquility from being isolated from the population, even just for a momentary transition of time?

It had to be a long time... And indeed, it has. Reminiscing on faded memories, they almost seemed surreal from the back of his eyes.

One...

Two...

Three...

...

...

...

No... Twelve...?

Twelve...

Twelve years. It had been that long since he experienced those surreal sensations that led him to see a new perspective of his once monochromatic and dull world. For the first time in his life, he saw different shades of color he was not aware that existed, filling him with that heady rush of bafflement and unknown jubilance. For the first time in his life, he had opened his eyes to an overwhelming and different sight that could have more or less been hindered from his sight for fifteen years. It was exhilarating... The sight was like paradise.

But, overwhelmed with the sensations, he took a step back from the door and shunned away the world that would have laid ahead. The world he saw once seemed like a product of his fantasy instead. His world became monochromatic once again. It was dull and a progressive set of patterns. Just as it had always been.

_Why did I let go?_

He pondered to himself that often before he would catch himself staring blankly either at the corners of his office or at the ceiling of his bedroom with that lingering emptiness on his heart. He could have had that world. He could have had it with that person he still hold dearly to his heart despite how much emotional turmoil it has caused him. He could have avoided the slow excruciating twist upon his heart with each passing dreadful day without that person to be by his side.

He could have been happy.

_Tetsuya..._

The faint sweet fragrance of fully-bloomed cherry blossoms, the crisp yet cool caress of spring's early morning breeze, and the hushed rustling of dew-covered grass underneath his feet seemed so distant on the back of his mind. And yet, it was the very memory he treasured deeply more than anything else. It was the most peaceful memory he had with him, with Tetsuya.

It was the most peaceful paradise he would trade for anything just to have once again on his life.

Because on that wonderful paradise, there was just the two of them. There was just him to see the sight of a genuine and breathtaking smile upon full rosy lips, and the happy twinkling of mesmerizing and exquisite powder-blue gems. There was just him to hear the soft tinkling tune of amused chuckles.

There was just the two of them. How could he have been so naive to let it all go?

_I love you. I always have..._

Staring at the ceiling in the dark with the same old feeling of emptiness dwelling in his heart, he would always find himself with tears cascading silently from the corner of his mismatched eyes, nestling like dew drops on his crimson red locks.

_I shouldn't have let you go..._

It would be selfish of him to want him back when it had been he who pushed the bluenette away in the very first place, brought by his personal changes back to his youth. As he sought along his monochromatic world for more, Tetsuya had waited all along by the door to the world beyond their monochromatic one. When waiting seemed hopeless and futile as he did not spare a glance at the once despaired teen, without him knowing, he had already moved ahead, leaving him on his own to stare at his faded tracks.

He had waited for fifteen years. And he lost it after almost three years.

Love comes so slow, yet goes so fast...

* * *

_But you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missing home  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

* * *

For a split second, he had a glimpse of eternity. And in that split second, he closed himself in his own walls while trying to fabricate that vision.

In a split second, he had him in his arms.

In a split second, he found happiness with someone.

In a split second, he belonged to someone just as that person belonged to him.

And in that split second, he lost everything.

It was a nightmare he would wake up to everyday, his figure lurching forward as battered and ragged breaths escape his parted lips. It was just a dream, he would convince himself once he would wake up. And yet, that dream was his reality.

He was living a monochromatic world, seeing things through, ironically, vibrant crimson and sienna eyes. He had long accepted the fact that the only person he had ever come to love would never be his again. Tetsuya had disappeared along his life sometime during those twelve years. To where, no one would tell him. He had accepted it. And yet...

Why would he still glance by his side, as if in longing of someone to be there?

* * *

_Staring at the ceiling in the dark  
Same old empty feeling in your heart  
'Cause Love comes slow and it goes so fast_

_Well you see her when you fall asleep  
But never to touch and never to keep  
Cause you loved her too much and you dived too deep_

* * *

"You're thinking of him again, aren't you?"

He snapped out of his dazed stupor, dull hues flickering to the individual who spoke to snap him out of state induced reverie. His lips pressed into a firm thin line while staring into calm amethyst orbs, pondering silently to himself how the male manages to read him oh so easily. Had he become an open book?

"Should I even wonder now how you are able to read me so well?" he had to ask, fixing his paper works back into their proper positions upon his work desk.

"Not at all, Sei-chan. The only reason you would stare off in the air blankly has only been due to him. It is a no brainer," Mibuchi supplied with a soft smile as he assists with fixing the respective documents.

A small sigh sufficed as a confirmation to the claim; no words needed to be spoken of to protest against such an undeniable fact. He would not speak of it. It was unlikely for him to do so despite how blatantly obvious the fact was to almost every single one of his peers. There was no need to speak of something that was not in his life anymore.

"You never pursued him even after he went away, Sei-chan."

_What right do I have to come back into his life?_

"I did not need to see him to know that he was happy."

"But was he complete?" the effeminate man questioned softly, being cautious not to gaud the individual too much.

"Happiness is easy to attain, in the littlest of things we can see around us. But, to feel completeness is a different matter."

"We are not having this discussion, Reo," Akashi replied with finality, turning his office chair around from the view of anyone who could possibly be in the room.

The man could only stare with blatant sympathy and an unspoken urge to appease such excruciating emotions residing in that cold bleeding heart. Akashi Seijuuro was perfect in all sense. He had seemingly surreal features, untarnished fame and overwhelming fortune, astounding knowledge capacity, a charismatic and twisted personality... Just like a masterpiece.

A work of art that one would be entranced to for a scant amount of time before it becomes nothing but a framed work of art with no more astounding features. A dull piece.

"Humans are stubborn in nature. We owe that to the confliction of the mind and the heart. To a human, just as one only needs light when it's burning low... or miss the sun when it starts to snow... or know the sensation of been high when feeling low... or hate the road when missing home... Sometimes, you will only know you love someone when you let them go."

He stepped back from the desk once he had accomplished his task, slowly heading towards the office door to give the man the space he desperately needed at the moment.

"You convince yourself that you were the only one that let go. Maybe it's about time you find for yourself if he ever let go."

With a soft murmur of excuse, he stepped out of the confines of the vast room, closing the door with a soft click.

Mibuchi may not be as perfect as the younger male, but he was just as perceptive as him. He had never seen anyone love and hurt over someone as the male inside the room, or cling so desperately to memories that resurface without warning. Or even to remain standing firm and tall despite the crumbling of his screaming being.

Perception is a curse in itself. Despite not wishing to, he saw something that would always be ingrained on his memory:

Silent cascading tears flowing along pale cheeks and the corners of slightly parted chapped lips.

* * *

_Well you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missing home  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
And you let her__ go_

* * *

How ironical it seemed that such eyes that made him see everything could show him nothing now. The world lacked vibrancy and luminosity in his eyes, and even the merry laughter about him seemed to dull to a monotonous tone to his ears.

Every tick of the clock that indicates each passing second, turning into minutes... hours... days... months... years... Each tick sounded maddening to his ears. Every second passing by is another second wasted. Every second that passed by is another second without a specific someone in his life...

With a far-off gaze from across the street, he watched young kindergartens playing along the premises; their faces devoid of negative emotions. Ah, the joys of being a child. Living without a care as to what would come tomorrow, and... wherein emotions are too raw to pluck and be devoured. Wherein mistakes are still tolerable and could be dismissed with a laugh, and no expectations were set above your head.

He had wasted his youth. Just as much as he wasted his whole life. Living for others but yourself, fulfilling expectations after expectations with no care of possible outcomes that reside in the future.

He wasted his youth living to satisfy his father. He wasted his youth by following his orders all throughout his life. He wasted his entire life for the man. He gave everything he could to please his father. Even though that everything cost him his happiness just as well.

The happiness he found out of befriending the respective few in his middle school's basketball team.

The happiness he found out of every earned victory.

The happiness he found out of accomplishing something on his own.

The happiness he found out of his temporary state of freedom inside the walls of his academy.

And... Especially the happiness he found out of loving a certain someone.

What did he gain in the end? Was blindingly following everything that was laid out for him worth it? No... No. It never was worth it. Everything lost their purpose. Everything became a chore, even the mere act of breathing itself.

* * *

_You__ let her go_

_You love her when you let her go_

_You let her go_

_You love her when you let her go_

_You let her go_

_You love her when you let her go_

_You only know when you let her go_

* * *

He was certain that he would not live long. He assumed that one day, the nightmares that haunted him every single second of the day would just engulf his being completely, dragging him into a silent and painless death.

He was not one to believe in incarnation, but if one does exist, he only wished for one thing: to be reborn in a world where they could both exist. All along, he knew it was a selfish wish, but it was all that his heart had ever wanted.

To be with the person he loved the most.

That chance long slipped past by him. He was twelve years too late and a second chance would never come again. Even if it came in a different form, he was already standing outside death's door.

The last thing he would remember would be the dull blankness of his room's ceiling and the velvet caress of the silky sheets against his pale skin. He could feel the effects of the pills slowly kick into his system, clouding him with a sense of heightened nausea and numbness. He could feel hands reaching out to his soul, slowly dragging it out of his body. It was death. Death was reaching out to him. But... He did not mind it because aside from death's embrace, he could feel a pair of loving hands reaching out for him, encompassing his body equally with warmth.

It was... _his _warmth.

_"You've kept me waiting for so long..." _the voice seemed to whisper softly into his ears as he was gradually dragged deeper in the depths of eternal slumber.

_"I'm sorry. I should not have let you go before..." _he thought back as an answer, a small trail of tears falling from his closed eyes as his apology registered on his mind.

All those years of pain... All those years of suffering... All those years of longing...

_"Letting me go proves just as much that you love me. Besides... From now on, we will be together, right?"_

He was leaving so many things behind. His family, his friends, and everything that he has worked hard for all throughout the years. But... They did not matter. Materialistic things never did matter in life. He could not bring them with him to death.

He knew he would not regret anything. Not when he was seconds from being with the person he unconditionally loves. Perhaps things were meant to end this way for both of them. Life was never fair after all, but he would just have to take what comes after.

With a last heave of his chest, he gave his final breath before succumbing to eternal sleep, in the embrace of death and of the person he loved most.

_"Yes. Forever. I won't let you go again."_

* * *

_Cause you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missing home  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

* * *

He stood before them, staring with solemn and pained eyes at the names etched into that single gravestone.

_May these two eternally loving souls rest in peace and never be separated once again._

_Akashi Tetsuya & Akashi Seijuuro_

It had not been easy to take the redhead's body from its previous grave without his parents' knowing. Despite the risks, it was something that had to be done. It was Akashi's lifelong wish and request; to be buried beside the person he loved most. He could be damned for all he cares, he would not allow the two lovers to be separated once again.

He knew that the redhead did not regret anything when he found him... dead... on his apartment. He could not even find a reason to cry for him back then, because for the first time in twelve years...

Akashi Seijuuro was smiling.

Every single one of them knew he was just a ticking time-bomb. It was a matter of time before he was actually pushed to the point wherein he would take his own life. Every one knew of his pain.

Twelve years. He had suffered twelve years without Kuroko Tetsuya. None of them could imagine the emotional pain he had to go through everyday, trying to live an empty life upon losing the person that he had ever loved unconditionally.

Many mourned for his death, but none blamed him for taking his life. They just could not blame a man who died for the sake of being reunited with the person that he loves.

_I pray that one day, perhaps in another life, may both of you find happiness once again with each other. Should that day comes... I fervently hope that both of you would never be separated once again._

"I know you are happy now, Sei-chan, and we could not be so selfish as to deny you your only happiness," he whispered against the grave, forcing a small smile to slip onto his lips as he spoke.

"You're with him now, and I know that he is just as happy to be able to stay beside you once again," he continued, letting a few tears to escape from the corner of his eyes.

It was never easy to let someone go.

"Tet-chan, please take care of him for us, alright?"

He placed the flowers atop the grave, murmuring a soft prayer before standing up to leave.

_The faint sweet fragrance of fully-bloomed cherry blossoms, the crisp yet cool caress of spring's early morning breeze, and the hushed rustling of dew-covered grass underneath his feet_...

No. He chuckles bitterly to himself as he gingerly wiped the tears off of his eyes. He should not weep. He should not be sad.

The two lovers were in their happy paradise. That was all that mattered.

* * *

_And you__ let her go_

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**End**

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_**Explanation: **__In the end, they both died but Kuroko died first. You can assume that it was an accident or perhaps some sickness because this story's plot is practically very open. __**Anyway, **__during that twelve years (so Akashi was actually about thirty when he actually died), Akashi underwent through heavy depression which only escalated when Kuroko died. Everyone knew he was bound to kill himself one day and could not do anything to actually stop that because... You know Akashi. Once he sets his mind on something, it is rather difficult to change his mind. Initially, Akashi wanted to keep living, knowing that Kuroko would not like it if he were to take his own life. But as things became more difficult for him, he took his own life just so that he could finally be with the one he loves._

_**Kato: **__Time check, 3:02 am of the 14th of February. Kato-san is a genius, dear readers, typing out a fanfic in the early hours of morning and ending up crying like some poor chap in the process. Good thing my tissues were just close for me to reach._

_Anyway, leave your comments through message or review. Thank you for reading and I hope you like/love it!_


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